You don't get to be brave without first being afraid
Unf**k yourself:Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life #AtomicIdeas
Your problems don’t derail you, your hidden expectations do!
I don’t read self-help books. There is a lot of sweet talks - it almost feels like a diabetes-case-in-making.
But if there is one book that cuts through this self-help clutter, it’s Unf**k yourself:Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Gary John Bishop. He is a little nasty, a lot straightforward - the book is a good read if you need a bit of nudge in your life at this point.
You are responsible for your life, and if you're sitting around waiting on somebody to save you, to fix you, or even help you, you are wasting your time.
The book helps you understand the complexity and power of self-talk, and how to use it as a force for good in your life.
Sharing Atomicideas from the book:
Practice positive self-talk. Don’t think about why you can’t do something, think about how you can make it work.
Stop blaming others and take responsability over your life. No one is here to pamper your ass.
Life doesn’t care if you’re sick, tired, broke, or that your toe hurts. Do what needs to be done despite the hurdles along the way
Why self-talk is profound?
The kind of talk you engage in dramatically affects how you deal with life and confront problems. Positive talk can improve your mood, boost confidence and increase productivity.
The bad news is that the reverse is also true; your self-talk can fuck you over in ways you can’t even imagine. The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will seem. We sometimes resist simple things like folding laundry when they actually take little time and effort. Why? Because we have negative self-talk about these kinds of tasks.
I am willing!
If you think about it, willingness is missing in your life. Willingness to change, willingness to let go and accept. That’s why the first personal assertion you should have is: I am willing.
Ask yourself: Am I willing to go to the gym? Am I willing to work on the project I’ve been putting off? Am I willing to face my social fears? Also, “I am unwilling” can be just as powerful.
When you’re unwilling to continue to simply exist and feel unfulfilled, you’ll make the effort necessary to make a change.
I am wired to win!
You think you’re losing in life, but you’re actually winning! Everything that happens to you is a victory. Our thoughts are so powerful that they constantly push you toward your goals, even when you don’t realize what those goals are!
What if you are actually driven to prove that no one will ever love you? What if it was planted there as a subconscious reaction to a bad childhood? What if you’re actively and deliberately undermining the success of your relationships? You were convinced that you weren’t worthy of a loving relationship, so you set out to prove it and you succeeded!
Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have
The conclusions that you’ve come to about yourself, others and life are the real limits to your potential.
I got this
Negative experiences we have rarely stay contained in that one issue. They spread. If you’re having financial trouble, you’ll stress about it at dinner. Little mess can influence all areas of your life until your emotions surrounding that one area becomes the lens through which you see everything.
If you want to do something great, you need to accept that some people are going to think you’re an idiot
The reality is: if you’re reading this, chances are that your life isn’t as hard as a child in Somalia. Get connected to your real-life instead of your emotionally soaked self-talk narrative about your life.
Put things in perspective, so you can face life with a powerful attitude. Remember all the problems you faced and eventually overcame.
I embrace uncertainty
Uncertainty is where things happen.
You’re an addict, out of control and so dependent on your drug that you don’t even realize how it’s affecting your life. You have a craving for prediction. We all seek certainty and avoid uncertainty.
Release the need to control everything. Understand that you can't control external circumstances, but you can control your response to them. Accept what you can't change and focus on what you can. Let go of control and find inner peace
We want to know what to expect, where to go and what to wear. We all know the bumper stickers that praise risk-takers and urge us to embrace uncertainty, and we already know that taking risks directly correlates with our potential for success.
Missing the target isn’t the worst thing you can do. Not taking the shot is.
I am not my thoughts; I am what I do.
We all have feelings of dread when faced with something we’ve been resisting. You’d rather do anything than the task at hand. The truth is, we all do this, even the most driven and successful. What separates them is that they understand one simple thing:
What they think and what they do don’t always have to align!
You don't get to be brave without first being afraid
They don’t always “feel” like doing, but they act anyway. The truth is: it’s difficult to control what you think about. You’re going to have negative thoughts, maybe every day or even hundreds of times per day.
You have days where you don’t want to get out of bed and go to work, but you do! Every day you engage in activities that you don’t want to do. That means you already act independently of the thoughts you’re having.
You change your life by doing, not by thinking about doing
Happy Unf**king your life. Have a great weekend!