Airtel Baba ki jai ho

Every morning, on the way to my jog, I pass this guy in a shabby tent outside my house (picture representative). The guy has almost all ailments listed like diabetes, constipation, not getting babies,  sins in past life etc. and claims to cure them with mystical Rajasthani dawa. In general I love these snake oil salesmen – they claim to solve issues with a mix of Magic and science – somewhat like Doctor Who – in fact their entrances look no less than the entrance to the Tardis. However, till today I never felt I should go in.

Today, I felt like going in for the first time in my life. Not because of any physical problems – but because of something which I think can now be solved only with a mixture of magic and power. Like Voldemort or Sonia Gandhi.

This peculiar issue is Airtel baba getting un-prasanna with Pratyush Prasanna. Because of my sins in past life, Airtel baba has chosen to bombard me with obscenely high bills. Now let me recount the history for you readers – the 101st time I am doing this consciously (the last 100 were to Airtel “support” executives). Subconsciously, in my dreams I have implored with Airtel baba a lot of times, but by definition they cannot be counted or admitted in court.

I got an Airtel postpaid connection in the month of June when I shifted to Bangalore. I went to Baba Bangali’s hut  - sorry the Airtel service center in Electronic city, submitted my documents and took the Rs 299 plan, where I was promised free GPRS for a month. At the same time I also applied for a separate Rs 98 plan (which gives 1 GB free GPRS usage as well). Now that was too confusing for Airtel baba. In the first month, I got a bill of Rs 3985. The reason stated was that As I had applied for a separate plan than the free one – NEITHER of them had been activated. Take that for logic. The only other example of such impeccable logic has been George Bush and his chemical weapons in Iraq.

In any case, after about 15 telephone calls, they got the matter resolved and rolled back the bill.

Jai Baba Airtel

Now this month, after 3 months of relative silence, Baba Airtel got pissed off with me and sent a Rs 5000 bill. The reason – apparently I had “forgotten” to inform the call center that the Data plan (Rs 98 – 1GB) needs to be turned on. Wait – What? Hadnt I written it on the Account Opening Form? Yes – but apparently I still have to inform them once my free period is over. Logical?

Jai Baba Airtel

And the story doesnt end there. Like most of us who feel violated in this age of social, I put up my woes on Twitter. Got to know that it wasnt only me who got the bamboo from Baba Airtel. Apparently our good friend Vijay Anand had been given a much longer one (Rs 68000) by Babaji. After clarifying his stand, they shortened the length of the Bamboo to ~ Rs 3000. That was reassuring.

A quick poll by him also brought up the fact that many of our friends have been subject to Baba Airtel’s dreaded Brahmashtra.

Now I am standing in front of the Rajasthani Dhongi Baba’s shed and am looking for some answers.

Should I just walk in and try pitting this Baba against Airtel Baba?

Should I collect some more stories and approach Airtel Baba for mercy?

Should I just pay up the bill and say Jai Baba Airtel?
Tell me if you have felt the tip of Airtel Baba’s Bamboo as well. Help me here. And join this group.